INSECURITIES

Insecurities, they are not taught, they are not genetic, they just crawl up to you anytime. At least every woman has had moments where they thought they weren’t good enough. It simply begins by standing in front of a mirror and thinking, maybe my nose is too big, or my forehead is so big, what if I had full lips or had a small waist?

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Then from that comparison you are compelled to hide what isn’t perfect and for the lucky ones, they make it their job description to fix the imperfect parts. But what exactly does this type of insecurities do to our relationships?
For most people, when getting into new relationships, there is the pressure of allowing yourselves to be vulnerable with your partner. At some point vulnerability means they have to know your weaknesses and insecurities.

At some point vulnerability means they have to know your weaknesses and insecurities. Click To Tweet

In most relationships today, vulnerability is seen as a liability because everyone is out to protect their hearts. These could sometimes mean that some insecurities should stay hidden, but as women, there is always a way of things getting out, especially through emotions.

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As women, we sometimes know when we have met a decent, honest and caring man but our emotional bit keeps telling us that it’s just a matter of time before the illusion ends. If he’s quiet you actually start panicking! What’s he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If you don’t know exactly where he is you get suspicious.

 

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He constantly has to reassure you that he is in for a long time not just a good time. Every delayed text reply is a source of anxiety, every female friend is a threat, and every social gathering without you is a panic attack.

 

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Insecurities drives us to be clingy, annoyingly needy and emotionally unstable. In early stages of a relationship, it is normal to be insecure to a certain point, until the relationship grows and is stable. Insecurities drive people to be anxious, to constantly expect that the worst is coming up and to keep monitoring; do they look fed up? Who’s this other person they’ve mentioned? Should I feel threatened? Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up?

Insecurities drive people to be anxious, to constantly expect that the worst is coming up. Click To Tweet

For the so called independent women, all this becomes exhausting and the best thing to do is to walk away before someone walks out on you. Unfortunately for the others, this automatically drives the guy away. However, we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So we have to ensure we kill all this insecurities.

Nobody can beat you at being yourself. Click To Tweet
Confidence is attractive. Nobody can beat you at being yourself. All you have to do is embrace your uniqueness so well that whether it’s a liability, it becomes the most attractive thing about you. Once you are aware of who you are, you will notice that despite the fact that you have a liability, you have an asset too, all that matters is which of these are you going to focus on.

 

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Once you understand that, when getting into a relationship, you are aware that even though it could not work out, you did have something good to offer. Do not confuse imagination with reality. Do not change your insecurities and make them flaws about your partner. The best of them all is to always talk things out in a decent manner. Do not complicate issues, just ask for reassurance.

Do not change your insecurities and make them flaws about your partner. Click To Tweet

Most insecure people always want reassurance, but it is important to remember that in a relationship with an insecure person, not only the insecure person suffers but also the other party. There is a tendency of disconnect because at some point any word they say could not be convincing enough or could be misunderstood. It gets lonely and being around these insecure people is like walking on egg shells, every right word comes out wrong. It deprives the relationship joy and a normal growth.

It is important to remember that in a relationship with an insecure person, not only the… Click To Tweet

The painful truth is that insecurity can lead to the death of intimacy in a relationship. The fear of losing something can actually bring about that loss. Not to mean that the insecure person is always wrong, sometimes they are given a reason to be insecure. Once you notice that is the case, do I need to tell you to walk out?

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A relationship should free you from insecurities, not entangle you in them. Stay confident. Slay confidently

Relationship should free you from insecurities, not entangle you in them. Click To Tweet
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2 Comments

  1. Loving this piece

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