Getting a “Hey” on my Instagram direct message put a smile on my face. Like a child receiving candy from a total stranger. Weird I know.
Excitement brought with it validation that I was still attractive (Beyoncé attractive I told myself) and the idea that someone found me attractive enough to want to hold an adult conversation with me in the DMs.*It goes down in the DM* playing in my head. This was after he had liked a few of my pictures. I was slaying. Hot sauce all over my pictures.Social media had ruined me, ruined the standards of what people considered attractive and yes ruined me by letting me know that beauty had to be validated by a random guy hitting me up on my DM.
Before answering, my curiosity walked me straight to his pictures but none existed except a few pictures of quotes. Smart! I thought. Wing it! I told myself, smart is always accompanied with good looks. Ha! Few texts back and forth, we ended up exchanging numbers and continued the adventure on WhatsApp. I could tell he struggled with English and boy! Was that a turn off but it did not deter me. I was determined to find love this year.
Social media had ruined me, ruined the standards of what people considered attractive and yes ruined me by letting me know that beauty had to be validated by a random guy hitting me up on my DM. Click To Tweet
Anyway English was not his first language I told myself, he was Somali/ Swedish. Not until he complemented my “validated beauty” with “from your pictures I can tell you are very handsome”. *screaming at my phone* I am Beyoncé not handsome Jay Z, dude!
Yet again, this did not deter me and when he invited me for a lunch date? I gladly accepted. When the day had arrived he was gentleman enough to pick me up from my house. Punctual I might add. He drove a nice car, probably 5’9, well built and chocolate brown as I liked them. Dressed in a pair of well fitted jeans, blue checked shirt and a pair of Yeezy sneakers.His language barrier and terrible compliment was made up with what I saw now. You did well, I told myself with a smile on my face. Good looks, nice sense of dressing, a good job and a basabor (his Swedish passport in my Somali accent). Jackpot.
I was all dressed up with my make up looking flawless. In my mind, I had to show him I was no handsome Jay Z. Looking good and also expecting him to take us to a nice restaurant. Food was the other reason I had accepted this date.
During the car ride we had a decent introductory conversation with smiles here and there. I wasn’t paying much attention to where we were going until he pulled up in front of Kentucky Fry Chicken (KFC) that was nearest town.My mouth dropped, disappointment and shock could be seen on my face from my miles away. Did I get dressed up for KFC? Did I tolerate your terrible complement for KFC? Really? KFC.
Then he said “Here we are. I can see there is a lot of people here today. You can get us a table as I make our order. What would you like to have?” “Aaah!” is all I could manage. “The two piecer, chips and a Fanta”, I said to him. I wasn’t going home hungry, disappointed, maybe, but definitely not hungry.
Once inside I picked a table sat down as I waited for his return. People kept looking at me wondering why was so dressed up for chips and chicken. I was wondering the same as them too. He came back with our food a few minutes later and we ate in silence. Awkward silence I might add, because at this point the little interest I had left had gone and I was neither going to find love in KFC or this year as I hoped.I was neither going to find love in KFC or this year as I hoped. Click To Tweet
Afterwards he dropped me back home with a promise he would call me later and a promise to myself I was not going to answer. That was it for me. This had turned out to be disastrous for both us. My search of finding love no matter what had led me to ignore basic things like we had little in common, language barrier and clear disconnect.
Ghosting him after the date was definitely unfair to him but am sure he could tell we were not going to have a happily ever after. I wasn’t his Cinderella and he wasn’t my Prince. This also taught me one major lesson; finding love online was harder than I thought and “winging it” wasn’t going to work. I had to make sure I really connected with the person and liked them enough to move on to the next step which is meeting them. WING IT was both unfair to me and the other person.This also taught me one major lesson; finding love online was harder than I thought and winging it wasn’t going to work Click To Tweet